by Bananas at Large

Since this was sung by either a buch of drunks or people acting drunk (a bit of both, if you ask me), some words were hard to make out. I also tried to spell them phoneticly, so den = then, dere = there, dat = that, da = the, im = him, etc. Oh, and the stuff in parentheses is what the background people are saying.

Let me tell ya that. And you know, It's not so much da heat as it is da gosh dern humidity, ya know. Ya know dat, ya know when you sit dere in the bed and you, you just sweaty yeh know, and yeh go to reach for da water on da nightstand and you slide right out of bed, and da wife says, "Stop making so much noise. Your waking me up. Go to sleep."
Well, let me tell yeh, times like dat, dey make me think about moving up north, ya know? (good idea) Yeah, I'd do it too. 'Course, den I couldn't wach da Packers, ya know. Da Packers are...gosh I like da Packers. I'd do anything for da Packers. Who can forget Vince Lombardi, ya know? Back in da glory years? Not me boy.
Yeah, well anyhow, gettin' to be that time of year, eh? (yeah)

I'm a deer hunter, how do ya do?
I got the deer huntin' rappin' tale for you.

I'm so excited; it's my favorite time of year.
I love to freeze my buns chasing trophy deer.

But don't clap your hands to the stomping of da beat,
'cause yahoos like me, we can't, we can't keep a steady beat. No.

(come on now. Ya gotta stick with da beat, man)

I got da great big knife, cause da hunting is my life.
It's my chance to drink beer and get away from da wife.

It's a boys' night out, acting stupidly
Say now baby, baby, don't you think maybe how 'bout you and me, yeah?

Well, we partied all night, never made it to our bunks,
And I was sitting in da tree stand on a three day drunk

Da wind was blowing forty-five, temp-thirty below,
I was freezing to death, then it started to snow.

So I got down from the tree stand, start heading to the truck,
And dat's when I seen it there, da turdy point buck.

(Turdy point buck?)

Turdy point, turdy point, turdy point buck.
Turdy point buck.

(Turdy point buck)
(Turdy point buck)
(Turdy point buck)

Well he was eight foot tall, weighed twelve thousand pounds,
With every step there was a shudder, a shaking of the ground.

He was so beautiful, so beautiful, strutted right out of my dreams.
He was created by God, just for outdoor magazines.

Now, I'm not much for thinkin', no I don't do it often, but I had an idea.
(Oh yeah? Wat was dat?)
To put dat turdy pointer right in his coffin. Yeah.
(You get 'im dere, Clyde)
(I'll believe it when I see it dere, buddy)

(Turdy point buck)
(Turdy point buck)

Couldn't get to my grenades, (yeah right) da howitzer was in da shop,
My stomach was tied into a monkey knot.

Yeah, my only hope was Betty Lue, she was da one!
A combination ak-57, Uzi, radar, laser, triple-barreled, double-scoped, heat-seeking shot gun.

(Turdy point buck)
(Turdy point buck)

Yeah, da women clappin' in da back, dere. I kinda like dat.

Well, he was commin' for me, getting' bigger and bigger,
But my fingers were so frozen, I could not pull the trigger.

I kicked off my boots; fired with my big toe!
I was Dirty Harry, John Wayne, G.I. Joe.

(G.I. Joe?)

Ya, dat turdy point buck was only ten feet away,
But still I couldn't seem to hit 'im, and he wouldn't run away.

And twenty minutes later, when da smoke cleared,
Dere were hunters on da ground, and the world's biggest deer,

Standing tall and proud, he looked at me and yawned,
And den a flash of white, and dere he was, gone.

(Oh, it's all right, Clyde. Don't worry about it.)

Seven men got up, and den one fell down.
A big lump of blaze orange, shaking on the ground.

At first I thought he was one of da boys,
But he was a no-brother-good-in-law man, from Illinois.

(Only cheese heads here, right boys?)
(Send him back on the next plane, ya know.)

(Didja see da turdy pointer?) (Didja see da turdy pointer?)
(Didja see da turdy pointer?) (Didja see da turdy pointer?)

As we jumped into da truck, said I'm gonna get dat turdy point buck.
Yah, I'm gonna get dat turdy point buck, I'm gonna get dat turdy point buck

(Turdy point buck)
(Turdy point buck)
(Turdy point buck)
(Turdy point buck)
(Hey! Dere he goes! Dere he goes!)

I'm gonna get dat turdy point buck, ya, I'm gonna get dat turdy point buck
If it's da last thing I do, I'm gonna get dat turdy point, turdy point buck.